03 Funny Quotes
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
Do the manufacturers of foolproof items keep some fools on their payroll to test out their items?
Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one.
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed will remove the stains.
I have a complex about my simplicity. A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
Michael Winner
A good way to save water is to dilute it.
I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.
George Bush
The two most common elements in the universe: hydrogen and stupidity.
Paying for psychiatrist proves your crazy.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
He took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
No one has ever complained of our parachutes not opening.
“It's not so much a conviction as a strongly held belief.”
I bet you I could stop gambling.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Homer Simpson
They say you use only 10% of your brain. What about the other 10% ?
I think you'll agree with the joke that the people who invented the Internet never would have got around to doing it if they'd had the Internet.
Legend has it that the atom was split when a bunch of scientists working late decided to order pizza. Fran Lebowitz
My Internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible!
You know you've been on the Internet for too long when you've forgotten your children's' names.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
I made my dog a Facebook page. Now he has more friends than me.
After I die, they will look through my tweets and see that my life was not wasted.
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.
Henry Ford
Press any key to continue, where's the any key?
Homer Simpson
Before there was an Internet, people probably spent a lot of time wondering what to do with all their pictures of cats.
To err is human and to blame it on computers is even more so.
This post contains funny quotes.
Do the manufacturers of foolproof items keep some fools on their payroll to test out their items?
Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one.
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed will remove the stains.
I have a complex about my simplicity. A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
Michael Winner
A good way to save water is to dilute it.
I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.
George Bush
The two most common elements in the universe: hydrogen and stupidity.
Paying for psychiatrist proves your crazy.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
He took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
No one has ever complained of our parachutes not opening.
“It's not so much a conviction as a strongly held belief.”
I bet you I could stop gambling.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Homer Simpson
They say you use only 10% of your brain. What about the other 10% ?
I think you'll agree with the joke that the people who invented the Internet never would have got around to doing it if they'd had the Internet.
Legend has it that the atom was split when a bunch of scientists working late decided to order pizza. Fran Lebowitz
My Internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible!
You know you've been on the Internet for too long when you've forgotten your children's' names.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
I made my dog a Facebook page. Now he has more friends than me.
After I die, they will look through my tweets and see that my life was not wasted.
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.
Henry Ford
Press any key to continue, where's the any key?
Homer Simpson
Before there was an Internet, people probably spent a lot of time wondering what to do with all their pictures of cats.
To err is human and to blame it on computers is even more so.
This post contains funny quotes.